So excited about my newest book...

Kelley McNeal, a "local celebrity" that I work with at FlightSafety, introduced me to this book.  (Sorry, Kelley - had to just put that one in print! ha ha!)  She was so sweet to print out a flyer for the book signing that was hosted at a local shop downtown.   I missed the book signing, but kept the flyer and I finally have the book!

I love the subtitle  "And Other Delightful Mysteries of Raising Boys" - which speaks volumes to me!  I'm excited to learn the secrets of this mother of 5 boys and finally, one little girl!

Fair Food Part I: Fried Oreos

Fair food is a passion for some.  So much so that I thought I might even call up the executives at Food Network and pitch the idea of a new show - a spoof of sorts off of "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives."  We'll call our show "Fairs, Festivals and Everything Fried."  I guess I might be one of those Fair Food People (a full-fledged member of the FFPA - Fair Food People Anonymous.)  We even have a running joke with our friend, Keith Tyler - a pipe dream that could any day turn into a reality because Keith is all about a venture.  Among other get rich quick schemes - we'd buy an ice cream truck and sell ice cream, of course, but more than that - funnel cakes and fried oreos!  Keith found a few trucks on eBay and now we are just trying to work out the logistics - who will drive and when.  We have found it difficult to work out the driving schedule - we've all been quite busy getting kicked out of various Mexican restaurants in the Southeast.  Once our schedules calm down a bit - you'll be seeing us around your neighborhood!  We will be easy to recognize because we'll have our anthem "Chicken Fried" blaring over the speakers instead of the overly-used nursery rhyme songs you would typically hear from an ice cream truck.  Come and get it!

Fried Oreos a la Ice Cream Truck
I recommend doing this at home before you take it on the road.

Ingredients:
2 quarts vegetable oil for frying
2 large eggs
1 cup milk (maybe a bit more to thin out)
2 cups Bisquick
1 tsp vanilla
1 (18 ounce) package Oreo cookies
Confectioners sugar (powdered sugar)

Directions:
Heat oil in deep-fryer or stock pot to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Whisk together the eggs, milk, and vanilla until smooth. Stir in the pancake mix until no dry lumps remain.

Dip the cookies into the batter one at a time...

And carefully place into the hot frying oil.  Fry only 4 or 5 at a time to avoid overcrowding.

Cook until the cookies are golden-brown, about 2 minutes. Drain quickly and toss into a bowl of confectioners sugar ...

Cover with the sugar...

Completely ...

If you want to be devilishly sinful, you can drizzle with hot fudge or Hershey's syrup - but I forgot about all of that once I did this...

Oh my!

Lack of planning head...

So I've been emailing back and forth with Mia since, oh, I don't know - maybe November 1st.  She needed BIG ideas because she was hosting Thanksgiving at her new house - in-laws and all!  It had to be perfect and she was going to pull out all the stops.  She was on it - she was all over it - and Hobby Lobby had better watch out and Target and every other large, megastore in Illinois!  I haven't seen a picture of her table or the lovely wheat centerpieces she created, but I know it must have been beautiful.  She promptly texted me a picture of the silverware rolled into napkins and tied with ribbon and leaves gilded with each person's name.

This is how they turned out...

So I start realizing that I have done nothing - NOTHING to get ready for Thanksgiving and Pottery Barn catalogs keep showing up in my mailbox - like everyday!  How many versions of Thanksgiving can they do?  Do they not realize that my Super Walmart cannot keep up with their lovely table settings?  I try, let me tell you - I still try.

Off I go to Walmart - at 10:30pm on Tuesday night, because I will not be caught dead with those frantic people on Wednesday.  People in Effingham get crazy the day before a holiday.  I don't have a license to carry my gun either.  (Had I been born in Effingham, I would have had that, ya know?)  So I have big plans to buy bolts of burlap because I am going for the whole "elegantly rustic" Pottery Barn look, a la Walmart prices. Walmart has recently decided that we aren't as country as we look and don't need a fabric counter - no bolts of burlap.  Instead I buy a burlap-esque tablecloth and I am on my way!

Here is what I was doing at 1:30am - ever heard of tea staining?  Geez.

Grab a few index cards, cut into thirds.  Then snips the edges off each third and hole punch.

 
Make up a mixture of tea and coffee to get a deep, rich color. Dip each card into the tea for a few minutes.

But since it was almost sunrise at this point, I decide that I did not have the sanity to stand at the counter holding each tag in a tea cup, so I soak them overnight...

Then the next morning, I pull them out and lay across a cookie rack to dry.

Aren't they cute?  (I am sick!)

This is what they look like tied to my napkin rolls - see my burlap-esque tablecloth?!

This makes me happy for some reason...

Oh, I really need to get out more often - this is crazy!

Hope all of you turkeys had a happy Thanksgiving!!!!  Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Like Father, Like Sons...

Jim likes to rake.  He also likes to sweep.  He would not agree.  Yep, as I imagine him reading this - he is shaking his head.  We have been late - to church, to events, because Jim is sweeping out the garage!  If the Murphys have 3 minutes to spare, we are going to use it - we aren't going to be early.  That in itself usually makes us late.  I am guilty of this myself - on a daily basis even, but not to sweep out the garage.

So here are my two sweeties - raking, like their daddy.  They even raked a bag's worth from our neighbor's yard.  Wish they would develop a love for washing dishes...

Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement by Katherine Center

Food Heals... or ...Ooh La La from a can... (You Decide.)

It was a not-so-typical Monday night, as I was down in the dumps from a decision I wanted to make, but sadly will not have the chance to make...  Jim has his own little way of taking care of me on days when I come home from work like this.  I will have a "I am not quite sure what happened today" look on my face.  When this happens - he always cooks dinner.  Even my midwestern husband has learned, to a southern girl, food heals - and the only way that can happen is if she doesn't have to cook it herself.

We all sat down to dinner and that is when I found ooh la la in a can! 

Girls, if you have had A DAY - the kind that makes you question how to go about opening a cabinet door - you need your very own can of these...

Pillsbury Garlic Butter Crescent Rolls.  They are pretty special.  Soft and buttery with the savory-ness of garlic.  Oh my and ooh la la - and they aren't even homemade!  It is kinda strange and wonderful - how my day suddenly didn't seem to be such a mess after dinner was over.  Things definitely were starting to look up!  Was it the ooey-gooeyness of the garlic butter crescent rolls - or were they just that delicious because Jim made them?  Whatever it was - I felt all loved and happy inside. 

How to Train Your (2nd Grader) ... Dragon

For Storybook Character Day, Owen wanted to be "Hiccup" from How to Train Your Dragon." 

Luckily, Aunt Marsha came to save the day and help us turn the terry cloth towel into a viking-worthy vest and re-design the shirt to have a criss-cross leather tie instead of modern day buttons. 

Now, if our little viking here only realized how lucky he is... and so begins my task of how to train my second grader ...  

Little boy feet...

I love some dirty feet.  Dirty feet can only mean one thing - that there was fun to be had and they had it.  Filthy boys are happy boys and that is the best thing I know of.

Her Majesty...

Aunt Marsha Marsha Marsha collects purses.  Here is one of her latest buys - or maybe I should say this one of three of her latest buys.  She bought three intending to keep only one of them, but because "they were just all so cute" she couldn't bear to send any of them back!  I know the feeling.  This one is pretty cute - but if she wants to make one certain very favorite niece very happy, she could decide to give me the black one... maybe?

A Pammy Sort of Day...

You've all heard about Aunt Marsha Marsha Marsha, but you must know - there are two more aunts in the bunch - and one of those is Pammy!  She is a co-conspirator - an adventurous sort of gal.  She is always up for a good time when she comes to visit - and we fit in as much as we can.  She usually comes on a Friday and we must eat somewhere yummy for lunch and then there is usually some shopping involved.  Lawd, does Pam like to shop!   

Pammy had a birthday and all girls need cake on their birthday, right?  Mama decided to order some cupcakes - key lime to be exact (with cream cheese icing of course!) and we thought we'd request a little extra sass from the bakery - how do you like the flowers?  Aren't they grand?  She liked them too ...

And so did Miles... he looks so happy!

We thought she need some balloons too - because all girls need balloons on their birthday.  (Husbands take note.)  We love Pammy and we loved her cupcakes!  Happy Birthday, Pammy!

Wednesday's Johnsons with Jennifer...

This is her weapon of choice...

Mocha Royale - at 1/2 tilt... because she thinks she talks too much at full tilt.





And this is mine...

Hot Peach Tea... full pot, full tilt.

We are very happy girls on Wednesdays!

Too Hot to Handle!

Look at what I found on my front porch Monday evening...

And look what was inside...

I have not yet found a word to describe the fabric - it is so much more than whimsical, it is too down right over the top to be called "hot."  The choice of fabrics and the style of the apron had three women squealin' in the kitchen (that would be me, Mama & Marsha-Marsha-Marsha) while my husband, Jim, just shook his head back and forth.  (Lord, save these men for they know not what to do with us!)

Julie warned me that I would need to buy a new pair of shoes to be photographed in this apron - and she was right!  (Check back for that photo!)

Now, don't you worry - you will be able to buy one of your very own aprons in the future.  From what I hear, Julie and Joe might be on the festival route once he retires.  I can just see her designs featured in Country Living magazine.

I can't wait to point to her and say "that is my Julesie!"  Carry on, Sista!

Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits - Day Two

Refusing to be defeated, I bought more flour on Sunday and went at it again.  I didn't buy the self-rising flour my Grandma's recipe called for because I didn't think I'd get good use out of it - and I found another recipe in my Pioneer Woman cookbook that called for all-purpose flour, so being thrifty I used that recipe.

Pioneer Woman's Buttermilk Biscuits
Makes 18 to 24 Biscuits

4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup shortening
1/3 cup cold butter (5 1/2 tbsp cut into pieces)
1 1/4 cups buttermilk

Preheat oven to 450 degrees (425 degrees worked best for my oven.)

In large bowl, combine all the dry ingredients.  Stir together.

Add the shortening and cold butter pieces.

With a pastry blender or two butter knives, cut in the shortening and butter mixture until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

Pour in the buttermilk and mix gently with a fork until just combined.

The biscuit dough will be sticky, not overly dry and crumbly.

Lightly flour a clean surface.  Turn the dough out onto the floured surface and roll to a 1/3 - 3/4 inch thickness depending on how thick you like your biscuits.

Cut rounds with biscuit cutter and place them in a baking dish or on a cookie sheet. 

Bake for 11 - 14 minutes (I baked mine for 9 minutes) until golden brown.  Do not underbake or the biscuits will be doughy.

Batch 1 - this is when I realized I needed to turn the oven down to 425 degrees:

Batch 2 - this is when I decided to shorten the cooking time from 11 minutes down to 9 minutes:

Batch 3 - baked at 425 for 9 minutes - perfect... but not as good as Grandma LaTrelle's... Guess I will have to break down and buy that bag of self-rising flour afterall.

Grandma LaTrelle's Homemade Biscuits (aka Candace's Homemade Biscuits a la Hockey Puck)

So, I've been craving my Grandma LaTrelle's biscuits.  I have the recipe.  I've had the recipe for years, in fact.  Unfortunately, when the craving hit, I only had enough flour to make half a recipe.  This is when the trouble started.  Baking is like chemistry.  One must not fool with the fine balance of wet and dry ingredients, you see.  So, I threw my lab coat (apron) on and went to work.  I am not sure if I should just continue on with the pictures or go ahead and throw in the punch line...

I think I will just draw this out a little more... 

Here we go!

Grandma LaTrelle's Homemade Biscuits
Note: These are her exact instructions - I love how she wrote them for her very young, 20 year-old granddaugher, Candace, to understand.   

Ingredients:
5 cups Self-Rising Flour
5 Tbsp Crisco
Buttermilk
Greased & Floured Pans
Method:
Preheat oven to 475 degrees.  In a large deep bowl, pour 5 cups flour. Level it out and with a fork, make a medium wide hole in the center.  Put 5 Tbsp Crisco in the center. 

Slowly gather flour and Crisco with fork.  Pour buttermilk slowly into the flour-Crisco mixture, keeping milk in area of mixture and pulling in flour a little at a time when milk is added.  Continue to gather flour, but be sure to leave enough flour so you can form dough into large ball and keep it and your hands floured. After you have your dough ball ready, squeeze some of the dough off and press edges lightly in flour and turn them under slightly.  Cup your hands in a circular motion to form the biscuit and lay the first one in the middle of the pan.  Repeat, squeezing portions of dough off and preparing the same way, laying in pan each time. 

When all the dough is used, turn the top of your fingers under and dab in flour, then with the top of your floured fingers, press each biscuit down slightly.  It is ok if they touch.  Bake in oven for approximately 20 minutes or until deep golden brown.  Makes 1 pan of biscuits. 

(These are not looking quite right are they?  This is my first sign that I have done something wrong.)

Oh yes, oh dear - they are really not looking right... but what is it?

Maybe you've already figured it out - me, it took a bite of the hockey puck, then another peek at the recipe for me to realize that I used all purpose flour, instead of self-rising flour.  It does matter.

And finally, a shot of my messy countertop - always have to throw that in for good measure.

Vanilla Dipped Pretzels a la Halloween...

I tried really hard to buy the popcorn balls like Jessica Brady told me to do.  She told me that they were at Walmart and that would be easy and perfect since it was last minute.  She is usually right - mostly always right.  Then she found pictures on the internet that she emailed to me and I got too excited - cute white paper cups with perfect ghosts drawn on them, filled with orange popcorn.  Then there were the vanilla dipped pretzels with ghost eyes and mouths painted on with chocolate... I was right back to where I started, wanting to do something "big."  (Notice how often the words "big" and "excited" appear in my life?  Those are the two words that get me in the most trouble.)

Here is what you need:

1 package (block) of vanilla candy coating
1 bag of unbroken (mostly) pretzel rods
Multiple colors of sprinkles - I think purple, lime green and black are the best
cellophane bags
matching curling ribbon

Here is what you do - oh how easy peasy:
Dump some of your sprinkles into a nice long, thick pile (for lack of a better word) on a narrow platter or plate, set aside.  Open bag of pretzels, set aside.  Roughly chop the vanilla blocks of candy coating - chop about 1/2 to 3/4 of the package.  Throw into a large glass bowl and microwave at 30 second intervals, stirring after each interval.  It might take 2 or 3 minutes of this. 

Begin dipping 1 pretzel rod at a time into the melted candy coating, covering 3/4 of the rod. 

Let excess drip off - if you dip into the sprinkles and the coating is too thick, it will fall off in a clump.  Not good.  So, let the excess drip off for a minute or so, humming to yourself as you wait. 

Then roll into the sprinkles. 

Lay on parchment or tin foil to let harden.  Aren't they pretty? 

After they've hardened for about 30 minutes, place each one into a cellophane bag.

Tie with matching curling ribbon.  Be sure to make enough for the teachers... the best way to an 'A' is a happy, well-fed teacher!

BBQ Jalapeno Poppers...

Note: For your own sanity, do not allow a man into the kitchen during the preparation of this obsessively-tasty treat.  The man will be stubborn and will not wear gloves and will make you miss your office Halloween Party because he will be writhing in pain from his fingers touching his contact lenses and you will not get to dress up like a pirate because you have to take your 4 year old to the dermatologist and you will be mad, sad, but happily stuffed because you will be stuck at home with all 36 delectable poppers and finally you will realize that you are, in fact, jack-slap glad! 

Here is what you need:
18 whole Fresh Jalapenos, 2-3 Inches In Size
1 8oz. block Cream Cheese, softened
1 pound Center Cut Bacon, Sliced Into Halves
1/2 cup Cheddar Cheese
Green Onions, if you want to
BBQ sauce - your favorite
Toothpicks
Latex gloves - if you are smart

And here is what you do:
Prepare yourself properly with latex gloves, because if you've ever been burned by jalapenos and had to self-medicate with every sort of home remedy on Google... well, you know what I mean.  So, on with the gloves! (If you ever do burn your hands - so bad that you can't think about anything else - call me and I will come a runnin' with my jar of L'Occitanen Lavender Body Butter - that was the ONLY thing that cooled the heat. 

Cut jalapenos in half, length-wise.

With a spoon, remove the seeds and white membrane (the source of the heat; leave a little if you like things HOT).

Mix cream cheese, cheddar cheese and green onions, if using. 

Stuff this divine mixture into each jalapeno halve.

Then lay halves on a foil lined sheet. 

Wrap jalapeno with bacon pieces, securing by sticking toothpick through the middle. (At this point, you can freeze them, uncooked, in a Ziploc bag for later use).

Brush tops of bacon with BBQ sauce. 

Bake on a pan with a rack in a 275 degree oven for 1 hour (start checking for sizzling bacon at 50 minutes.)  Serve warm or at room temp.  Yum!