Today's simplistic beauty in my kitchen ...

Taking a break ...

I read a post tonight from http://www.handsfreemama.com/?p=3942 that struck a chord so deafening that I have decided to take a break from my blog for awhile. 

I want to be in this picture instead of behind the camera.  I want to be a part of the fun, instead of chronicling it. 

That makes sense, right? 

So, too-da-loo everyone!

But remember to check back every now and again. 

I will put up a good fight, but I may find a recipe here or there that I must simply share!

Grandma Louise's Strawberry Pie

Isn't she lovely?

Grandma Louise made these pies over and over for us when I was a little girl.  There is nothing like it.  This pie, along with her fried fish - my love bucket is still very full from these happy memories.

Any other recipe, and I would happily share the play-by-play instructions and ingredients, but for this, I cannot share.

Please forgive me.

Here are a few more luscious photos to help you along the path, but other than that, you are on your own, cowboy.

Put the SEAT DOWN!

We have a great team of cleaners at work. The bathrooms are cleaned at least twice a day.  With that being said, the seat up ...

is Ms. Cleaning Lady's signature sign that this toilet has been completely disinfected... even in the ladies restroom!  Am I the only one that has a problem with this picture? 

Now, I am sure you men out there see nothing wrong (and everything right) with this, correct?  The seat is already up, in perfect position for you to do your "business" and you don't even have to bend down.  The hard work is already done for you. 

You like to be spoon fed, don't ya? 

But for married women everywhere, especially those with small boys at home, this is the ultimate vestige of the neverending war  - one that should not have to be fought at the office and in the ladies room of all places!

Ms. Cleaning Lady is so nice, I don't have the heart to tell her that she is jabbing that knife a little bit deeper with each upturned seat. 

Ms. Cleaning Lady, surely you know our pain ...

Surely you have a Mr. Cleaning Lady at home, right? 

And he leaves the seat up, for you to fall into with your tail feather in the middle of the night ...

So, Ms. Cleaning Lady ... nice Ms. Cleaning Lady ... for women everywhere, put that seat down! 

Blueberry & Blackberry Pancakes

I am currently devouring my most recent cookbook purchase...

Shhhhh...don't tell Jim! 

Just so you know, if I pass through the pearly gates anytime soon, you will want to get your hands on my cookbook collection - it is quite expansive ... and of course you'll want my pearls too. 

Back to the cookbook - doing this type of heavy research - and salivating over my findings was enough to convince me that I needed to make my very own (speedy) version to fill my blueberry pancake love bucket. 

Here is what you need to make my speedy version...

First, preheat your oven to 200 degrees.  Cover a baking pan with foil and set inside the oven, ready to accept stacks of pancakes until the very last one is cooked.

Mix blueberry wheat pancakes according to the directions on the box and add in a teaspoon or two of vanilla. 

Cook pancakes to golden on a griddle set to 375ish, smearing butter all over the surface. 

Once the griddle is hot and covered in butter, make nice round pancakes using a 1/4 cup measure.  Add in some thawed berries, one by one, in all of the best spots. 

While the pancakes are cooking, mix a few tablespoons of blueberry preserves and some maple syrup together in a bowl.  Warm in the microwave for ease and convenience - and one less pot to wash. 

Make sure to turn your pancakes when large bubbles appear and then pop.  This is the perfect time to flip them for golden perfection.  Let the cooked pancakes rest in a preheated oven set at a warmish/200 degree oven.

Enjoy the fruits (and berries) of your labor.

A Busty Girls BFF...

I've been blessed (cursed?) with both my grandmother's curves.  Had I been born in the Victorian era, I may have been famous, however, in this era of stick straight little-boy-bodied models, clothes do not always hang like they should.

Meet the enemy (a.k.a. my very favorite shirt...)

Button downs tend to gape open at the third and fourth button for a girl like me.  For years, I pined over shirts that I couldn't wear because I refused REFUSED to go up a size and sport the boxy look.  Now, I have a tool for all of us out there struggling with our "girls." 

You can find your own packet of velcro dots in the craft department at your local Wal-mart.

Just open the pack, attach the velcro in places where your shirt would typically bulge open and voila!  Enjoy the brand new straight and narrow of a buttoned down shirt!

Unlikely BFF of the week...

Meet my new and very unlikey BFF - Body by Vi shake.  Today's version was Berry Cobbler (2 scoops of mix, 1/4 cup of berries, 8 oz. skim milk, 1 tsp vanilla, few tablespoons crushed graham crackers.)  Much like the addiction that Diet Coke has among women, I have become addicted to this.  Around 11am the craving hits - and I have never, repeat never wanted to drink my lunch - ever.  So this is something new - and so healthy.

I am in love!

Easter Eggs

This year I was ready.  I set the table in advance, with two separate dying stations - covering the entire table with kraft paper and paper towels.  I labeled the mugs at each station so that everyone knew which color was which, and set out two separate drying crates.  Martha herself would have been impressed. 

The boys quickly got to work, making the typical (read: acceptable) colored eggs at first ...

This eventually became a contest of who could create the GROSSEST egg ever - which translates into who can make the darkest brown or black egg...

And then the excitement really begins ...  See those glinty, mischievious eyes?

And in these moments, I quietly wonder to myself what little girls decorating eggs might be doing right about now ... Would they be dying pink and purple eggs? Maybe a pretty shade of robin's egg blue? Hmmmm..... 

But then at some point the squealing and screaching would begin, and so I will take brown and black eggs any day.  Who needs pink and purple eggs?  Not me!







Only in the South ...

I pass this sign every time I go to my mom's and it is always, always there. 

Does that mean they always have rabbits and bunnies for sale?  Now that I think about it, the bunnies become rabbits - and those 2nd generation rabbits make new bunnies - and man, if they don't sell some of these rabbits and bunnies - they are going to be eaten out of house and home. 

By the way - they also have a snarling dog chained up somewhere in their yard.  He is not for sale.  I didn't know about him until I snuck onto their property, camera in hand. 

It's a dangerous world out there, in the land of rabbits and bunnies. 

My advice to you is to keep your tail tucked in while scampering off of someone's property, way out in the boonies.  A girl always needs a good escape plan - and this one's worked for me every single time.

For kids who won't eat their vegetables ...

This was a super easy kid's snack for the Easter parties at Owen and Miles' school.

This is what you need:
Clear party favor bags (cellophane bags)
Scotch Tape
Green curling ribbon
Family size bag(s)* of Cheetohs (or Pepperidge Farm Goldfish)
Large Bowl and Scoop
Basket for delivering - makes it super cute!
I used 2 entire bags of Family Size Cheetohs to make 42 carrots.

This is what you do:
To make the rectangular cellophane bags into a cone shape, fold only 1 bottom corner to meet up with the opposing edge (about 1 inch up) of the cellophane bag. You should have a right angle.  Tape in a couple of places to hold the cone shape. This will give you the cone look you need to make the "carrots."  I recommend doing this step first, because it takes awhile when you are doing 42 carrots.  I apologize for not having a photo of this - but because of the glare on the cellophane bags, you wouldn't quite be able to see what I was doing anyway - and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Next, dump your Cheetohs into a huge bowl, find your scoop and get rollin' sister, cause time's a wastin'!

Pour 1 full-size scoop into each bag, tie off with the ribbon and curl.  Keep going until you have all of your carrots finished and then stack into a basket. 

Be ready for ooh's and ahh's when you walk through the front office and halls of the school.  Be prepared for all of the puppy dog eyes and whimpers and cheesy "gimme one!" grins that you will pass along the way to the classroom.  Then prepared to be mauled by the kids in your child's class - cause they know the treats are for them - and they do not want to wait until the party starts.  Basically, prepare to be a hero - or heroine, whatever the case may be. 

(Malachi Brundage, Rees Bendetti and Owen)

This is why it is worth it - see that grin on my oldest youngin' and his pals - this is why mamas do what they do - and this is why ever 6 weeks my miracle worker angel friend, Kristen Kessler, does what she does when she covers up every single grey hair I sprouted from the stress of doing all of this craziness!  Thank goodness for her too!

Cake Mix Chocolate Chip Cookies ...

Recently, we attended a Blue & Gold ceremony for the Boy Scouts.  One of the leaders made this recipe and I raved over how light and buttery the cookies were.  (In fact ... they tasted almost just like my Great Grandma's absent, yet extremely coveted recipe!)  Because they tasted so closely to Great Grandma's (and because I have spent a great deal of my adult life searching for anything resembling her cookies), I promptly hurried home to make my very own batch.

Final verdict ... they aren't Great Grandma's, but they were very yummy!  Light and buttery and gone in a flash!

(The search continues ...)  

Here's the recipe...

Ingredients:

• 1 box favorite Duncan Hines cake mix
• Optional 1 bag of chocolate chips
• 1 jumbo egg
• 1 stick softened butter or margarine

Baking Instructions:

1. Empty Duncan Hines Cake Mix in a large bowl.
2. Add in jumbo egg.
3. Plus the slightly softened butter.
4. Add chocolate chips.
4. Mix until combined.
5. Place dough by spoonful on greased cookie sheet.
6. Bake at 350 degrees F for 7 to 10 minutes, 7 for chewy, 10 for crisp and brown.

Easy Wedge Salad

Sunday nights are good for two things - having the fam over for dinner or for getting together with our chummy lil' church home group. 

Recently, I had my parents over for dinner and served this simple and delish Wedge Salad...

Here's what you need:

1 head of Iceberg Lettuce

1 packet of Hidden Valley Ranch Seasoning

1 cup of mayonaise

1 cup of buttermilk 

1 packet of bacon, fried

Salt/pepper to taste

Mix together the mayonaise and ranch seasoning packet, then add in buttermilk.  Pour into a gravy boat and refrigerate until ready to serve. 

Fry up bacon until crispy.  Crumble and set aside.

Remove the core from the lettuce (I whack mine hard on the countertop, core facing downward so that it gets the full impact of the blow.  Learned this little skill from my mama!)  This little step usually loosens the core enough to remove it easily. 

Peel off the wilted outer layers of lettuce, wash the core and let dry. 

Then slice lettuce head in half, then in half again until you have pretty little petite wedges, if you have a large group.  You can slice them larger if this is your main course (for a girl's lunch, of course.)

Arrange wedges on a long platter, drizzle with ranch dressing and sprinkle with bacon crumbles.

Voila!

New love ...

Meet this week's BFF...

I found her at World Market over the weekend.  It is the exact same flavoring as I remember from my favorite Mango Peach Tea that I used to order at B. Matthew's Bakery ... back when it really was a bakery. 

Note the little Sugar Free label?  I never meant to buy Sugar Free, but the helpful salesperson at World Market said they don't even bother with ordering the regular sugared version anymore because the sugar free flies off the shelf. 

Rightly so - it is DIVINE!

Use a shot glass for measuring, 1 per glass of tea.

Mean Girl Syndrome

I think God had a plan when he blessed me with little boys.

Sure, little boys are rough and tumble and they are not at all interested in wearing any of their clothes the way that I had envisioned. (Apparently, the layered look on GAP Kids mannequins is not what boys want to look like at six and nine years old.)  They are also not into girly things - and rightly so. 

(However, you must know that both Owen and Miles can drink a mean cup of Emperor's Bride tea and are quite at home in The Tea Room - this came natural, I mean, hello!)

But the coolest thing about little boys is that they do not hang in vicious packs, whispering about other little boys the way that girls do.  

In case you haven't been on a school playground in the last several years, the girls out there are systematically sizing each other up (and sizing the adults up too) - even as kindergarteners. I have made my way into a few of their circles, being Miles' Mom and all, but some of these girls are just plain mean. I remember girls from middle school, but I had no idea that it started this early.  No wonder they are so adept at it when they become grown women!

Sadly, I have to report, even after middle school and high school - the mean girls are still out there.  They are on the soccer fields, the McDonald's Germ Playlands, and they are in corporate America too.  They are still sizing each other up - and whispering to each other.  Sometimes when they whisper to me, I am not brave enough to shut it down.  That part is sad, and I am definitely trying to improve upon this flaw.

I think that if we, as women, dared to revel in each other not for our sameness, but instead compliment and FEED our differences - we could do, make, create and solve HUGE things together.  Who wants a million female robots marching around dressing, talking and acting the same?  If we all wore red heels (or fantastical cheetah ones for that matter) they wouldn't be so great anymore, would they?  Those of us who stand out now, would blend in if we were all the same.  Sameness sucks.  Being different is KING (or QUEEN) as in this case. 

Maybe together we can stomp out Mean Girl syndrome.

Get out of the shallow end of the pool where the kindergartners are.  And stop staring at everyone else's bathing suit - it doesn't matter which of us has on a great J. Crew bikini and who swims in a tshirt and shorts.   Lately, I am hanging with the tshirt and shorts girl - because she is more real on the inside anyway.  Because to me, it's the inside of a person that matters.  The outside is just a shell.  And if you only have the outside ... well, what does that say about your inside?

Sweetened Condensed Milk Toast

What a fun and easy recipe for a weekend breakfast!

You will need:
Slices of 3/4" Italian, French, Brioche or Challah Bread
Softened Butter
1 Tbsp (per slice) Sweetened Condensed Milk

Toast bread, spread with butter while still hot, then slather each slice with 1 tablespoon of condensed milk.  Run slices under broiler to brown. 

Yum!

It's a tough world out there...

Today, after having lunch with Miles at school, I reluctantly agreed to go out onto the school playground with him.  Going out onto the school playground is a sweet idea in theory, and especially to those who have never been before themselves.  The reality is that I will be swing pushing, listening to, sat on and dragged by the arm by not one, two or five kids.  It means that I will be Grand Poobah Push-Master Supreme, Tiny-Tot Therapist, Sitting Cushion Numero Uno and Mrs. Here-Come-With-Me, not to just one class full of youngins, but five classes.  Five classes multiplied by 20 kids equals 100 children.  Do you feel me now?

 And for the record, I was cute when I left the house ... now, about an hour or so later, I am not anywhere near cute. 

(Jim's exact comment when I walked past him after I got home ...  "You smell like a little wet puppy.") 

Nice. 

Miles & Grandpa

Learning to tie shoes is a stressful thing.  I remember being baffled by it when I was little.  It took awhile.  Here are Miles and Grandpa hard at work.

Thursday Funny -

I work with pranksters.  This is what I found on my To Do list on Thursday morning. 

Me being gone on Wednesdays just leaves them too much time to think up naughty ideas.

Easy gift...

Recently, my long-time and super creative friend, Kristen Morgan, had her 40th.  I wanted to put together something fun, functional, and healthy (cause all of us chickens are watching our waistlines) for her special day.

Here is my take on an easy, healthy and happy gift for a friend, teacher, co-worker, principal (like if you child has recently been in a tussle on the playground...)

This is how you put it together:  

1.  Make a mad dash to Walmart with kids in tow.
2.  In their housewares section, grab a large acrylic jar with lid - this one with a clamp is perfect and only $6.00!
3.  Run to the snacks section and buy a large bag of Tropical Trail Mix.
4.  On to the baking aisle to grab a bag of Nestle Tollhouse Dark Chocolate Chips.  Dark Chocolate has anti-oxidants, which do something for you, I just don't remember what, but  Dr. Oz says we should eat them ... maybe they will make us skinny?
5.  Hope that you have some fabulous ribbon at home.  If you don't, you'll need to hit the craft section before you head home.
6.  Once home, wash the container and dry.
7.  Layer trail mix and chocolate chips (tasting the yummy papaya chunks here and there for quality control) until you've reached the top.
8.  Make a cute tag, tie on the ribbon.
9.  Congratulate yourself for putting together a yummy, cute gift, all for around $12.00. 

Win, win baby!

Sweet friend ...

Ever get lucky enough to have a friend that likes to share?  There is nothing better!

They might be pretty, but...

Sometimes pretty just isn't enough.  Meet my favorite red heels ...

They came from my favorite store - White House Black Market. They are evil, but I have found a way to wear them without them wearing on me!  The trick is to bring a pair of old faithfuls to work with you and wear those at your desk - then swap 'em out when you have to walk around.  This works perfectly and only you are in on the secret!

5:00am comes early ...

For the last few weeks, Wren and I have been behaving like lunatics. We wake at 5:00am and suit up to walk our neighborhood. 

The day it was 22 degrees - special "gear" was required under my sweats to stay warm.  Perhaps this is what a homeless clown might be found wearing, but it worked - and as a bonus, it matched perfectly with my green on green striped gloves ...

You know, only a true friend wouldn't be embarassed to hang out with a person dressed like this - but then again, I think we were the only two awake and it was dark ...

Cake Batter Muddy Buddies

The words Cake Batter and Birthday Cake always catch my eye.  When I discovered Birthday Cake ice cream, it was a life altering event. 

Here is a fun recipe that would work great for a party, a classroom event at school, goody bags, party favors, or simply for moms to gorge on while sitting around talking trash.  These are easy and good. (Not to be misinterpreted as good for you.)

This recipe can easily be doubled - just alter the measurements below and use an entire box of Rice Chex.

A double batch will fill up a gallon size ziploc.

Cake Batter Muddy Buddies
Makes 5 cups

5 cups Rice Chex cereal
10 ounces (5 squares) vanilla flavored Almond Bark
3/4 cup yellow cake mix

1/4 cup powdered sugar

colored sprinkles

vegetable shortening, optional

Directions:
1. Pour 5 cups of Chex Cereal into a large bowl.
2. Melt Almond Bark according to the package directions, adding vegetable shortening to thin if desired.
3. Pour Almond Bark over cereal, stirring and folding until the cereal is completely covered. Generously shake sprinkles over mixture and fold them in as well. so they stick to the Almond Bark.
4. In a large bag or covered container such as Tupperware, put cake mix and powdered sugar and shake to mix evenly.
5. Pour the Almond Bark covered cereal into the large bag or container containing cake mix and powdered sugar. Seal the bag or container and shake until all the cereal is coated with the powdered mixture.
6. Discard excess powder and enjoy!

Knock You Naked Brownies

I have made a lot of recipes recently that just didn't have that zing factor.  So many of these recipes have been pulled out of my favorite cookbooks (Barefoot Contessa - come on!  Owen's birthday cake was a huge let down.) 

So, after weeks on the brain and with promises of flying clothes, I finally made Knock You Naked Brownies.  The wait was worth it. 

You should make these right now!

Knock You Naked Brownies
Courtesy of The Pioneer Woman

1 box (18.5 Ounce) German Chocolate Cake Mix (I Used Duncan Hines)

1 cup Finely Chopped Pecans (optional - I didn't use.)

1/3 cup Evaporated Milk

1/2 cup Evaporated Milk (additional)

1/2 cup Butter, Melted

60 whole Caramels, Unwrapped

1/3 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

1/4 cup Powdered Sugar

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix together cake mix, chopped pecans (optional), 1/3 cup evaporated milk, and melted butter. Stir together until totally combined. Mixture will be very thick.

Press half the mixture into a well-greased 9 x 9 inch square baking pan. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes.

Remove pan from oven and set aside.

In a double boiler (or a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of boiling water) melt caramels with additional 1/2 cup evaporated milk.

When melted and combined, pour over brownie base. Sprinkle chocolate chips as evenly as you can over the caramel.

Turn out remaining brownie dough on work surface. Use your hands to press it into a large square a little smaller than the pan. Use a spatula to remove it from the surface, then set it on top of the caramel and chocolate chips.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes.

Remove from pan and allow to cool to room temperature, then cover and refrigerate for several hours.

When ready to serve, generously sift powdered sugar over the surface of the brownies. Cut into either nine or twelve helpings, and carefully remove from the pan.

Under Construction: Boys Bathroom Makeover...

The last of the sky blue walls and the sweet baby boy white shower curtain with red cars ...

Here begins the transformation to slimey green walls and hard core camo!

Standby for the ultimate BOYS GONE WILD transformation...

(George Brown character by Aaron Blecha)