The Price of Relentless Competitive Drive

Recently, I met a woman (name withheld) with an ego that entered the room five minutes before she did.  She was a one-upper, a narcissist to the extreme.  She was taller, younger, blonder and she was fierce!  I loved and hated her simultaneously.  Of course, I took every opportunity to learn from her while she was visiting. 

Women are competitive.   #guilty 

The relentless competitive drive that I am referring to is quite similar to the likes of Abby Wambach, Hope Solo and the U.S. Women's National Team, but instead can often come in the form of dedicated mothers on the sidelines, women at work and your very own family members.
 
Women compete over sleep.  What?!  Apparently, if you are able to put yourself together and operate with less hours of sleep than your friend, daughter, mother, spouse, co-worker  - you win! 

Win what? 

Women compete over who arrived to work earlier, who works harder, who dresses better. 

I know women who diligently and successfully unearth facts about the newbie parents on the team - what do they do for a living, where they live - and how truly did they afford that mini McMansion downtown!?  Thanks to Trulia and Zillow, the cost of one's corner house in Ardsley Park is quite easy to find. 

What do women do with this information?  Why we compare their stats with our own status quo and from there we .... what?  Why was all of that important?  To see how we stack up, of course. 
 
We out run, out step (hello FitBit!), out dress and out last everyone else in an effort to win. 

What do we win again?

On the same token, lazy moms totally bug competitive moms.  WE CAN get it all done and do so regularly - why can't they?  (Get off that couch you lazy mom!)  Me nap?  Never!

Competitive moms have kids that make straight A's, excel at projects, sports and outwardly, they look just as put together as their spazzed, frazzled, competitive mommies. 

Competitive moms are slaves to a crazed sports schedule.  We are never home, yet our house is always spotless.  Dinner is on the table thanks to the Crock Pot and still not a single hair out of place.

Surely we are winning! 

Until we're not. 

The fact of the matter is that I thrive on the friendly competition provided by many of the people around me.  I find joy in challenging myself against some of the best and most skilled people as the likes of you.  Still, I met my match that day in the younger, more fierce version of myself.  In her, I saw a few not so nice traits of my own that I was plainly too busy to notice before.  In fact, I felt quite disenchanted listening to her one-upping and bragging about all that she could get done. 

She could do it all - and hers came with sprinkles on top. 

She was her own biggest fan. 

She was me. 

She was lots of you. 

I felt sick. 

So what happens if we dial back?  We take a break from our schedule.  We slow down.  Will we lose our competitive edge?  These are THE questions, and I plan to find out. 

Stay tuned!